Click here to find out more… by B Wijshijer
Tracing the Path by Jessica Kasiama
<through the myth>
An earthling born of flesh, wire, and wild grass. A wet and curious thing stuffed with a soul. It was a mystifying scene until language arrived to satisfy its hunger. Language arrived in the form of the algorithm and slowly, that thing became woman: alien to the bloody, animal reflection.
REFUSE TO BE TENDER FOR CONSUMPTION.
Click here to find out more… by B Wijshijer
co-opts the language of spam emails to explore a cyborgian space where transcendence and fortune can be realized through algorithmically and machine-generated messages. Algorithms here are internalized as social, cultural, and political codes, and disseminated through social platforms and technologies. Wijshijer uses personal photos and screenshots to regain autonomy within the collaboration between self and machine. The vocabulary of junk mail merges with the aesthetic of social media and images of liminal physical spaces—which have become a source of fascination on various blogs and forums—in an effort to develop an equitable dialogue within our digitally integrated realities.
<through the story>
“Is it too late to change my mind?”
The worker, a sleepy-eyed woman in her late forties, exhaled deeply: “We can’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do, but your deposit is non-refundable.” Her tone was callous, as though she knew this was something I could not afford and was suspicious of my possible recklessness. In a motherly way, she examined my face and accepted my prolonged silence as response, continuing to hook me up to the machine. Tiny discs suctioned onto my fingertips and frigid wires clipped to the sensitive parts of my body.
######
It was Ren, a co-worker of mine, who suggested I visit the Oracle centre. I hadn’t been in the office for weeks. In a flawed attempt to justify these repeated absences, I claimed I had fallen ill, blanking on the company’s ability to access and publicize health records under the guise of team accountability. When it broke out that I had been lying and missing deadlines, Ren reached out to me via online chat and suggested that I claim hysteria to request paid leave. We’ve messaged everyday since then.
renluvsgoldenhour: how u feeling?
mai_001: terrible. haven’t left the house in a minute, running out of groceries. need a vaca or something
renluvsgoldenhour: bby:( have u ever heard of Oracle? 🔮
mai_001: i’ve seen commercials. Idk if it’s for me
renluvsgoldenhour: honestly i think it’s the best thing you could possibly do for yourself. it’s like therapy minus the judgment of someone who’s probably just as f’d up as you are
mai_001: fair
renluvsgoldenhour: it changed my life. wouldn’t lie to u<3
mai_001: u win. booking an appointment for tomorrow
######
A soft but determined voice, reminiscent of an old schoolteacher’s, cut through my thoughts:
Welcome to Oracle. We are an artificial intelligence software programmed to assist you on your journey towards optimization. Oracle does not exist in bad faith. By engaging with this program, you are consenting to the use of your digital footprint so that we can offer you the most accurate results.
A line will soon appear on your user screen. Decide where it begins and where it ends. Trace its path until you feel a sense of calm. When you are ready, proceed with a question and we will do our best to offer guidance.
Please note that your correspondence may be recorded and/or transcribed for recordkeeping and quality assurance purposes.
Paint chipped off the milk white wall in front of me. The headset I wore activated, dispelling me from the room and into a simulated hyperreality, an open space filled with light. I could feel my voice shaking, “Can you see me?”
PROCEED IF YOU ARE A SHAPE-SHIFTER.
Oracle: Yes. We base our avatar on your most formative memories. If it pleases you, we can alter our appearance to maximize your experience.
Mai: Something less abstract would be nice.
O: Of course. Is there a specific image that makes you feel safe?
M: I haven’t been able to leave my house for a while. When I feel good enough to, I visit this tree in my neighbourhood. It’s always been there. Does that work? I’m sorry, this is my first time here.
O: So be it.
M: Um, I’m sorry, I think it’s actually an oak.
O: Oracle cannot detect the image you speak of. We can only emulate what exists in your records. There are no photographs or written accounts related to this image.
M: This is fine then.
O: Excellent. How can we assist you today?
M: I’m not sure why I’m here. I just feel so alone.
O: What does that feel like?
M: Can’t you feel what I feel? Isn’t that the point of this?
O: Oracle can predict your feelings based on your physiological reactions and past online activity. How you feel at this moment is your decision.
M: Well, I don’t know. It feels like there’s a massive hole in my stomach. A hole that keeps growing, I think it’s stretching inside of me. A month ago, I was almost certain there was a spirit in my apartment. Something haunting me, watching me wash the dishes, watching me naked in the bathroom. And then the fear of the ghost turned into the fear of this fly that kept buzzing around my head and I just wanted to squish the thing dead until I saw it in the mirror, right between my eyes, mocking me. That drove me to the edge.
O: Please proceed with a question.
M: Am I going to fall inside of my own loneliness? Will it devour me?
O: Perhaps consider purchasing a weighted blanket to soothe feelings of anxiety. Press Continue on your user screen to browse our catalogue.
M: I just don’t know who I am anymore.
O: Oracle’s predictive self-imaging service gathers your online activity, including social media profiles, search history, and recent online purchases, to conjure up a prototype image of your ideal self. Based on your current data landscape, we detect that you have been experiencing severe neuroses and are failing to meet the performance standards expected of a worker within your demographic. Please consider the possibility of turning this image into a reality by following our recommended steps for reintegration back into society.
With the press of a button, her image appeared before my eyes. More animal than human, her body was a rendering of every intentionally angled photo I had taken of myself. The synthetic wig that was melted to her scalp was a contrast to the kinky, unbrushed curls I wore out that day. Salty tears seeped through the corners of my mouth as I devoured her image. I looked at her as though I were looking through the surface of a body of water. Exit Image.
WHERE DOES THE VIRTUAL SELF BEGIN AND END?
O: If you feel that you are a threat to yourself or those around you, we are legally obligated to alert a medical professional.
M: I’m just overwhelmed. I’m sorry.
O: If you feel that you are a threat to yourself or those around you, we are legally obligated to alert a medical professional.
M: No, I am not a threat. I’m just- I’ve had enough.
O: Thank you for your consent and participation. Oracle wishes you luck on your journey towards your most optimal self.
The user screen went black and I was transported back to the white room. My skin was cold and raw. I waited patiently as I was unhooked from the machine, relieved to go through the motions. Control your breath. Smile at the worker. Sign the papers. Pay the fee. Open your mouth, fix your tongue to speak: “Thank you for all your help!”
My body instantly softened at the breeze of the tangible world as I collapsed through the doors of the building, falling straight into the grassy Earth of the front lawn. Decide where the line begins and where it ends. Trace its path until you feel a sense of calm. Guided by a slow inhale and exhale, I could feel the cavity inside of me, the elasticity of the longing, returning to its original shape.
I thought of her soulless eyes. My other body. Her unbeating heart.
Trace the path of the myth, place its words in your mouth, until you feel a sense of calm.
It was just a projection. Nothing to be afraid of.
DESIRE <AS A SYSTEM ERROR> REQUIRES SANCTUARY; AN ALTAR AND RITUAL TO WITNESS THE TRUTH OF ITS PRESENCE, RATHER THAN RESOLVE ITS CRAVINGS.
PERFORM A BODY SCAN AS AN ACT OF SELF-PRESERVATION.
TAKE NOTICE OF EVERY SENSATION.
FEEL YOUR STOMACH RISE AND FALL WITH EVERY BREATH. OBSERVE THE TASTE OF YOUR OWN MOUTH.
EVERY FEELING BUILDS THE ARCHIVE OF THE USER.
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